My name is Carrie Bucalo, and I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse by my father, who was a lay minister in the Catholic Church. My childhood was a very dark time for me, yet somehow God made himself known to me through his goodness, beauty, order and truth. In my teenage years I encountered the great writings of Blessed Pope John Paul II, which moved my heart and changed my life forever.
Because of my encounter with the Light of Truth, I fell in love with Christ and the Catholic Church and became a Carmelite nun as soon as I graduated from highschool. I spent three years of healing and growth in the desert of Carmel and I grew very close to the great Carmelite mystics of the Church. Yet living as a cloistered Carmelite was not the only plan God had for me.
Due to circumstances beyond my control, (namely, my father's arrest and imprisonment for his crimes,) I had to leave the monastery after three years and return home to my broken family. At my lowest point, Christ held me close to his heart and kept his promise of grace and unconditional love. It was then, nine months later, that I went against everything I had known about my sexuality and I feel in love with my husband, Justin. The fruits of healing in our marriage have been more profound than I could have ever imagined. And it is all due to the presence of Christ, who has given us the graces of the sacramental life of the Catholic Church.
It is from these experiences that I now share with you some things I have discovered about deep, spiritual healing from the wounds of "God-related" sexual abuse. Yet I have written nothing new. The spiritual journey itself has already been mapped out for us by Christ, and have been proven trustworthy through the examples of the lives of the Saints and Doctors of the Church. And the tools of healing are not new ones, but they are the sources of healing that have poured forth from the Church ever since her beginning, namely the Sacraments, Sacred Scripture and Holy Tradition.
And just to let you know, I am not a counselor, or a therapist, or a doctor. So I will not try to explain anything or answer any questions that I am not qualified to answer. My sole purpose here is to prayerfully befriend you on your journey towards healing, and to let you know that you are not alone.