A Shattered Sense of Belonging
I've spent many years trying to understand and visualize interior wounds. In my childhood, I lost my entire family, community, and the world because of severe abuse and trauma in my home. The damage came from those I trusted most. As a child, I could not understand what happened to me. I lived silently with the pain. Because of the damage, I couldn't understand the purpose of relationships, nor could I discern a safe or healthy connection with others. I was like the child in this painting, staring out into an unknowable space.
I struggled with my sense of self and my sense of belonging.
I felt alone, unknowable, and unreachable. I felt I was expected to figure everything out on my own and successfully navigate the complexities of abuse, loss, and grief.
The truth is, no child should be left alone to navigate the challenges of trauma. It takes loving parents, siblings, family, friends, professionals, and the community to help a child process, grieve, and heal.
Even if everyone fails to help a child in need, God's Original Design will rebuild and restructure even the most shattered hearts and lives.
A Shattered Sense of Belonging
by Carrie Bucalo
16X16 Acrylic on Canvas
Visualizing trauma-informed prayer
A Prosthetic for Prayer
For those who struggle to pray for any reason, or those who have not been taught how to pray, or who have not prayed in a really long time, this method is a way forward. This prayer method acts as any prosthetic would: it restores functionality in the heart and soul and enables prayer and personal growth.
The idea for this method came from Matthew 18:10-14. Jesus is the Good Shepherd, who will not leave any of his lost, injured, abandoned, or abused sheep behind. Instead of leaving them behind, he carries them in his arms (see Ezekiel 34:16).
TO PRAY:
1. Find a Catholic Rosary. Any Rosary will do.
2. Start with the sign of the Cross (in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit).
3. Pass each bead between your fingers, without saying or doing anything else. In those moments the Good Shepherd, his Mother Mary, and the prayers of the Church are sustaining you. Just like a prosthetic helps the body to function, this method will move you closer to God.
4. At the very end, if you are able, you can say:
"Thank you, Jesus, for finding me. Thank you for carrying me. Thank you for bringing me back to the Father. Amen."
Art for the Wounded
Timeless
Blueprints of Belonging
Survivor's Gallery
This exhibition is a window into the heart of a survivor, as well as a profession of faith. It is tied with the common thread of faith, healing, and hope for survivors of abuse in the Catholic Church. (Click the corresponding link below to view)
Survivor's Gallery
Blueprints of Belonging
Survivor's Gallery
Discover the talent and the faith of survivors in this unique collection of artworks, done entirely by survivors of abuse in the Catholic Church.
OPEN FOR NEW SUBMISSIONS.
(Click the corresponding link below to view)
Heart Collection
Blueprints of Belonging
Blueprints of Belonging
This collection visualizes the stages of the heart undergoing trauma, abuse, and healing.
(Click the corresponding link below to view)
Blueprints of Belonging
Blueprints of Belonging
Blueprints of Belonging
Many suffer from a shattered sense of belonging. God's Original design puts everything back into place so we can discover our true sense of belonging.
(COMING SOON)
A look behind the scenes
A young artist
The apprentice years
The apprentice years
Carrie Bucalo was born and raised in Albuquerque, New Mexico in the early 1980s. She was always drawn to the beauty of nature, especially the sky. She started drawing and painting as soon as she could hold a brush.
The apprentice years
The apprentice years
The apprentice years
In her youth, Carrie became an apprentice to a contemporary Hispanic watercolor painter who taught her color, composition, and the various forms of watercolor painting. In Taos, Santa Fe, and Albuquerque, Carrie painted as an apprentice and developed her own unique style.
Painting in Carmel
The apprentice years
Art for the Wounded
At eighteen-years-old, Carrie took her watercolors with her to the Carmelite monastery in Santa Fe, New Mexico. For the next three years, she continued developing her watercolor techniques in monastic silence and solitude in the foothills of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains.
Art for the Wounded
The apprentice years
Art for the Wounded
Carrie's current passion is to paint for the wounded and create new avenues. She believes the visual arts truly aid in understanding those who suffer and shed fresh light on the possibilities of hope and healing.